Attraction vs Promotion
I recently had an interesting conversation with a friend from work. I’d like to solicit your reactions and input on this topic.
She and I would probably be considered unlikely friends because, by many measures, we are very different. She is a Buddhist, a Democrat, from Minnesota who has never been married or had children, but shares her life with her female housemate. I believe she has a Masters degree. I am a Christian, a Republican, from Spokane, married to my homemaker wife for twenty years and we have four girls ages 8-19. I completed my Seminary education in 1983 and am just finishing my Communications/Web Design BA. I consider her a friend and we have as much, if not more, in common then we have different. We share many core values: the importance of people over politics, the basic goodness of people, a positive, if not abstract and idealistic outlook on life, a joy of learning and interacting with others, a common respect for all.
Our discussion was about the concepts of Attraction vs Promotion as a lifestyle and as a way of interpersonal interaction. She was describing her manner of life as one of attraction. That is, as she lives her life according to the principles she holds dear, like minded people will be attracted to her. Those with a different paradigm will either be attracted by her life and ask questions that lead to a relationship or they will ignore her or be repelled by her life. This is a passive philosophy of interaction, but I do find her rather attractive. I had never really practiced an attractive life style as I have lived my life from more of a paradigm of promotion. I had never really thought about this particular dichotomy until we talked the other night, but it fits much of my experience in life. Promotion is, by definition, an active way of living ones life.
I am a fairly confident gregarious person. I have been a minister, an outside sales representative and a teacher. These vocations could be characterized as promotional vocations. After our discussion, I’m left with a number of questions and I’d be interested to hear what you think about the relative merit of these two philosophies.
Which is the better way to live ones life?
(Or is this like most dichotomies and the middle ground is better then the extremes.)
I can see that promotion can and has caused problems in our society by its focus on the ideal and not the practical application of principles. Whereas attraction may be more real, but may have the problems of not reaching out to others to help them live a better life. . .
What do you think? Which situations require promotion and which attraction? Is there a better way to define this concept? Do you have some examples which would be insightful to us?
November 28th, 2005 at 6:05 pm
I would think you’d have to live somewhere in the middle, just as Jesus did. He lived a life of example, and dealt with those who questioned it, attracting some, repelling others. But he also promoted his beliefs through preaching and making controversial statements and taking public action.
If one lives solely by attraction, perhaps it is out of fear of rejection. If I don’t put myself out there, I will limit those who reject me and my life.
Living solely by promotion allows us to forget to practice what we preach, spending more time focusing outwardly, and risking become control-oriented over other people.
Just an opinion.